For my lil sis..

She's 3 yrs younger to me. At times I think abt her n can palpate guilt creeping beneath my skin. We hardly talk, and almost never hv a frank conversation sharing worries, fears , confusions. Its always mechanical , mostly on my part , may be she looks up to me , but I could never open up..always cold shouldered..
       Actually I was never bothered, wat she was really doing, I just said "ok" to wateva she wanted to.. There were long intervals of time, when I wuda totally forgotten abt her.. I never criticized her, poked my nose in her matters.. I always made situational jokes, n gave her my typical happy-illusion smile.. But this probably didn't form a support system if she needed it...
         I , myself assumed she's strong. I didn't want to limit her freedom. It was an unspoken trust.. I was self absorbed, always thinking only abt myself.. It was all abt do, do, n do more in our family.. Everyone was supposed to inspire n motivate others..especially elders to young who should just nod n strive to reach d goals set to dem...
         but deep down I care for her. I feel a bond between us. I wish her only good.. If it goes unexpressed , I think she knows ill be there for her, maybe as a last option, when all d doors seem closed...