Monday 16 April 2012

A dead virtual life..

some 4 yrs bak i was happy one day looking at my new nokia xpress music, held tenderly like a baby in my hands.placed a few pecks on d screen. even feeling a lil dizzy n lightheaded..i almost levitated of that kind of happiness:).afterall it was my 1st multimedia phone.on d same day i activated gprs on my loop network.and i was born into d world of internet..

        initially i surfed usual stuff..google ,fb,mail..then i came across photospace. com, a mobile chat site. i registered "hermitxdevil"(thought for abt 10 min. for this name)..n posted a 'helllooooo....' in the new-bee forum..i checked my inbox 3-4 times a day , no msg except a formal welcome from d site admin(that too probably auto-generated)..most of d members were from foreign uk,us,sa,aus,nz, only few indians. later i realised how d asians were ignored n looked down upon..barbed remarks in d shoutbox.. i started posting in d forums fun,jokes,games..trying to make dem witty..be-able to tickle a funny bone..but keeping it clean, being nice.n slowly i got some friends n followers..some tried taking a shot at me, but i silenced dem, giving dem d taste of their own medicine..
            one day SHE inboxed me 'hi'..we got talking, same stuff..name,job,music,food,likes,dislikes...next was...wat u doin now..eating ,woke up, shopping, tired,bored,partying, got operated yestday (she was, for stomach ulcer)..her name was leonie, she always msg me 1st asa i logged in.. hi wid a smile was d regular..later dat changed to hi wid a hug..she lived on her own in a flat..away from her family.she won't tell me wat happened..she did tell me she had an indian bf 'jay' she brokeup wid 6 months bak..
          i also made a few frnds, katz frm sa, lea frm aus, kash frm pak, angela frm us...after 6 months they felt much like real frnds..i became so addicted to this site, i would stay locked in my room, bunked classes, didn't bath, spent nights , even skipped meals at times..it was showing on my health, dark circles, lethargy, disturbed bowel...
          in d meantime, i increasingly grew fond of leonie, we xchanged numbers, called her only a few times though (isd rates !!), just to confirm it was a girl for real n d same girl..but that only made d connection more strong...one day she msged 'i l u ' ...i actually felt wat its called "butterflies" all over my body..a hollow in my stomach, a catch in my breathe, throbbing of my heart.. i can still vividly recall that experience...it was 1st of its kind n d funny part was it never occurred to me in real life, but in a virtual life....
           and for d next month i wasn't myself..i had d insight but no control over my love-stung mind..it drifted , daydreamed ...drifted far away, at times urged me "get up idiot,catch a flight to london, n hold leonie in ur arms" ..intensity of d urge was strong but at same time realisation of this being 'mad' was there.i felt split into two parts..
           and oneday d site just vanished..the address couldn't be found..leonie's number just beeped..i must've tried it 1000 times, hoping someday it'll ring...that part of me, hermitxdevil, was dead...and it took a few months to recover from d restlessness i got from d memories of her.........

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